?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Mind Funk

I'm in a bit of a mind funk right now. I feel like I am beating my head against a wall at work and getting nowhere. It's most likely the commute that is really tearing away at me, because it is really hard to stay focused and engaged when my salary nearly doubled, yet I am still living paycheck to paycheck only now with the added stresses and pressures of my current title and less time with my growing children.

I've gotta dig deep and find a way to be awesome at what I'm doing now, because it is the only way I will earn a shorter commute. To be honest, I find it ridiculous that I have so many hoops to jump through and so much politicking to endure to accomplish what others have gotten through merely asking, but I digress. I am finding more and more how harsh the reality is for one that lacks a penis.

Some things that have been especially trying for me is that my personality is very aggressive and "type a" and that is apparently very unbecoming of a female in leadership. I must be presentable, well spoken, graceful, and lovely while maintaining the illusions of strength and intelligence. I can't be in your face outspoken and it is a HARD habit to silence.

I just have to suck it up, put on my big girl panties and roll with it. School is around the corner, the kids need things that this job helps me provide for them. If I am successful at it, I can get closer to home and closer to them. One day at a time, and I will do this.

Latest Month

September 2013
S M T W T F S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930     

I am a work in progress...

I will grow.
I will change.
I will improve.
Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Lilia Ahner